my Patience is thin... like my Stomach. Ah!

new video my precious!

it is a parody.

(BTW the video description clearly states that I had eaten my protein [white meat] before hand)

so, please spare me the comments on eating disorders because it's getting really old really fast.

so I don't like to be flabby, sue me.

now, it's supposed to be funny... sometimes we have to compromise a little in our life if we want to achieve certain goals, and this is me satirizing the fact that, yes, salad sometimes is a bitch to eat. 

I wish I could eat mac and cheese every day. really.

but I can't. I have to compromise that so I can feel good about my body.

and seriously, it's much easier to run up a flight of stairs!!

now, please... before you say I hate "fat" you should know that it is my firm believe that you should strive to feel good about yourself, and if a voluptuous figure is what makes you content, then my friend, you don't need to compromise a thing, because you are already the person you want to be!

and in the end, it is a matter of you being happy and loving yourself.

but if not... don't just stand in front of the screen looking at this, getting too offended, and munching down a whole bag of chips, while complaining about your weight.

personally, that is the worst for me.

so, without further a due...

the video!!

I hope everyone likes it and don't take it neither seriously or personally.

but you guys are cool, right?

aaah! I thought so...

see ya soon, I have a lovely post about a super romantic dinner, 

stay tuned!

<3

of Love and Dark and Cold

hello my dearies!

the "making of" from the "Second Nature" shoot is finally done.

 

it has actually been up now for a while on my youtube account, but time seems to ellude me, and I always forget to put it up here.

beg your pardon!

 

here it is:

 

 

I really hope you like it.

this was a very fun day and Zak was such a delight to work with.

I've said it and I say it again; what a wonderful photographer.

 

see you soon!

xoxo

It was a Molar most Foul...!

I haven't been feeling my best these last three weeks, well, my body at least. I had to go under the knife due to this pesky molar that insisted on growing beneath my jaw bone.

yes.

it's as creepy as it sounds.

my mouth is too small to accommodate all of my adult teeth, so my third molars are growing half outside and half under the jaw bone. because of this I had to have a "small" surgery to drill off a bit of jaw bone so that the dentist could get to the tooth to remove it.

 *the Afflicted appendix*

I experienced horrid pain afterwards, and the recovery time was prolonged due to the combined stupidity of some people (which shall remain unnamed) that confused my medication.

instead of taking antibiotics with anti inflammatory medicine, I was actually just on antibiotics and pain killers.

so the swelling became monumental as you may have figured by now...

the pain, non stopping, ever lasting, almost drove me to madness.

now... after three weeks, I can say I can do almost everything normally.

but I still feel some pain. it's bearable but it is still there.

*I call bloody murder on this one...*

so,

in the spirit of trying to get back to my every day life, step by step, I went out a did a little bit of shopping and got a pair of sweet fluffy slippers and this kitchen timer.

I call it the Evil Kitty.

now, time for updates:

*I also got a whole batch of stuff for my gel nails obsession, but I will do a proper post on that when I'm feeling better, it could be tomorrow or after that... let's take it slow.

*I have a KIKO makeup haul to do here and I'm considering in doing a video for that as well, but as I said I need a bit of time.

*I'm going to do a post on my Christmas presents and my personal purchases (I know, it's February but won't you love to know anyway?) 

*the making of video of the Zakahia photoshoot is finally done and it will be up this weekend, on Friday if we get lucky!

*I am about to start a new segment on this blog and on my Youtube channel called:

 "Black to Blonde: The Diaries"

where I talk about my personal journey to take out the black dye in my hair in a safe, wise way, and the transitions of the color pallet to a platinum blonde. I will also include all the information needed to do this in a SAFE way for your hair.

*for the Youtube channel and as always, also here, expect more Shoe Unboxing and reviews.

and I guess this is all for now...

gosh, you get sick and suddenly you get your schedule jammed.

  please bear with me and have some patience, 

or...

the Evil Kitty will get you.

and boy, is he evil.

xoxo

Zakahia - the Final results!

no... it's not the "making of" yet...

that will possibly be up on youtube next week, for now I will leave you with a few photos from the received package from amazing photographer, Zak!

DISCLAIMER:

these are copyrighted images, belonging only to me (model) and the photographer Zakahia,

 so please do not steal them!

ask permission if you'd like to share them.

thank you...!

 

 I promise as soon as possible I will have the "making of" video of this session up on youtube, and I'll let you all know when. possibly next week, so... I'm excited.

OOTD & MAKEUP - folly times coming!

 

*I feel Happy 'cause I'm in Love*

I felt very sad when I was about to put on some pretty eyelashes to go with this sweet look, when I realized I was out of lash glue... my heart sunk.

I almost never use false lashes on account of mine being of a decent length, but sometimes you really want your eyes to pop and the lashes are a great accessory for that.
the lips don't show much in this photo, but I went with a pastel, old pink as an homage to a 90's TV series called "Popular". I've been watching it with my love and it's a trip down memory lane, but also a huge source of inspiration.

 *Skeleton hands clips - Claire's / Transparent top with polka-dots - Stradivarius / Leather Jacket - gift from grampa / Skinny Jeans - (H&M) gift from Boyfriend / Faux Uggs - dollar store*

 forgive the weird angle, my boyfriend is still learning!

Love you dearest!

 I definitely went a bit on a danger area with the faux Uggs, seeing that no one with a full figure and/or short height should be using any of these type of shoes, but it worked in the end.

I just had to pair it with some good skinny jeans.

it shortens my height and gives me more weight, no doubt about it, but I believe I can dodge looking like a salami... 

the coat was not the best choice for this outfit... I was in the impression that it would give me structure, but alas, my shorter leather coat would've let the silhouette show.

this one is too boxy if you're going to use Uggs, once again I shortened myself.

a word of advise:

if you fall under the category expressed above, please, do not wear Uggs boots with two color striped pants or leggings.

I've tried it and it looks horrid, but if you had a positive experience, share!

much love my pretties!

P.S.

thank you to all the new subscribers on my youtube channel

you guys are swetties.

No mirror Makeup Challenge -- oh my...

*Peek-a-Boo I see You*

Now...

this was an odyssey for sure.

I talk about a number of silly things (true to my form, of course) all amusingly wrapped up with pretty makeup poorly done. let us hope my "holy hell" face at the end will be able to do the trick.

I hope you enjoy watching this movie as much as I enjoyed making it.

have fun <3

Bitting and gnawing in high heels

Today I woke up terrified with the prospect of having one of my wisdom theet pulled.

I am completely and utterly afraid of dentistry. it is also known as odontophobia and more commonly adressed as dental phobia.

it's when a person has a severe fear of dentistry and receiving dental care.

wikipedia describes it so:

"... Approximately 5 to 10 percent of U.S. adults are considered to experience dental phobia; that is, they are so fearful of receiving dental treatment that they avoid dental care at all costs.^[5] Many dentally fearful people will only seek dental care when they have a dental emergency, such as a toothache or dental abscess. People who are very fearful of dental care often experience a “cycle of avoidance,” in which they avoid dental care due to fear until they experience a dental emergency requiring invasive treatment, which can reinforce their fear of dentistry.^[6]

Women tend to report more dental fear than men,^[7] and younger people tend to report being more dentally fearful than older individuals.^[8] People tend to report being more fearful of more invasive procedures, such as oral surgery, than they are of less invasive treatment, such as professional dental cleanings, or prophylaxis. [...]^"

I really have to say this is me.

my luck in life is that I have insainly good teeth. I never had much trouble with them that I really needed to take care of it. my only troubles up to now were; pulling one tooth, getting two filled, and using a retainer.

all of the above were tremendously scary... I actually had to use braces because my mouth is too small for my teeth but I never had the financial support to do so, and being scared out of my mind didn't help as well.

now, I've come to a point where I can't let my fear win anymore.

said the Corpsie of past year and a half. I went there, had two fillings and the spectacle was shameful. I almost passed out, cried, barely openned my mouth... the works. that dentist is a saint for putting up with me... twice!

he said we wanted me there in a couple of months to talk about getting all four wisdom teeth removed. so I ran. I ran for an year and a half. sure I felt pain sometimes. but I would take something and forget about it. but now... it's getting worse and I can't stand the pain. so I went there today... and he did not remove my offending tooth. he's treating my inflamation and as soon as it heals, I'll have to go there and finally get it out. I'm already feeling better, really, but this is temporary if I don't suck up my phobia and get it over and done with.

I'm telling you, the moment he touched my mouth with those sliky gloves, I felt I was going to pass out. my heart was beating so hard I almost died.

I hate this...

well... more on that some othe time.

I did a couple of new videos, why don't you guys check it out a bit?

this is the demonia's Demon 17/B review, and I can already tell you that these shoes will make you fall in love! so confortable for every "terrain" you might have to conquer, and so easy to dress up or down if you're going for a casual look. take a gander, you won't be disappointed!

the next one is a review on a reasonable knock-off jeffrey campbell's Litas, and might I say they where a bargain. 24€ is next to nothing considering these babies can mimic the real ones in a most satisfactory way. hard to tell where they are from... just a random store in Portugal, but it all boils down to Chezchuan, China.



see ya soon my lovelies... <3

Room tour! :3

this is my room!
I'm showing just a few things here and there, but just because I have a real fetish with collecting things *cof cof* hoarder *cof cof* so I really have quite some little and big treasures tucked away under my bed and in an infinite number of boxes, wooden or cardboard, and bags and storage units.

that's just me. things make me happy because they make me feel full. and not just things one can buy. practically everything makes me feel that way, even when I'm walking near the sea shore during summer and happen to find sea shells or an odd looking rock. even leaves make feel that way. a piece of paper that holds the cutlery together in a diner, sharing a meal with a special friend or the ticket from the very first time I went to an amusement park.
be it of a high or low importance, I am fascinated with things.

I guess this would be my dresser. as you can see, it its best of days it still manages to look cluttered, messy and belonging to someone with her head in the clouds.
and it's true.

these are some of my pride and joy. my babies.
I'm sure it doesn't look like much to a great deal of people, but in those shelves lays years and years of saving up for some good (goth) quality shoes. I'd have to say 99% of these shoes were bought with my hard earning money.
life's a bitch, but then again, you have to be financially smart in order to have your cake and eat it too.

my little, almost dying charriot.
now, I don't really know what the heck this thing is called, nor in English nor in  Portuguese. I just call the name, that I can only assume by pronouncing it, to be in French... so, yeah.
I have a few more drawers of clothing but this is my main place for articles that you rather have hanged, otherwise you'll just get wrinkles everywhere...

this is my kinda-like-an-altar to Earth.
that's me and my hunay! love him to death. and a few more things, all that I "feel" to be within the earth spirit.

and here's my water kinda altar.
I've been going through a weird phase where I loooove to buy figurines that old people would get for their grand daughters as totally unwanted gifts, like this gorgeous mermaid or my troll in the photo above this one. once again, all that I felt to be a part of water is here.

this is one of the walls in my room.
unfortunately I have the urge to change this immensely, but the money has to be wisely spent and to paint this huge red wall to a purple... it will take a bit more of savings. and I am currently saving up for a hair color change and Norwegian lessons.

 plus, I always have to have some extra money for the projects I'm starting.
this is one of them:

it will be a wiccan/witchcraft inspired bottle, and I'm now finishing a custom bottle necklace (that I'll put up photos when done) and all of this on top of having an insanely amount of school work to do and tests coming up. ho my...

this is the Room Tour video, just go ahead and have fun with it!

see ya soon. :3

Why so serious? no. why so stupid.

About a month ago I decided to go ahead and record "the boyfriend tag" for my youtube channel, and for all that know me in a more personal level, know that it almost seems by miracle that I am able to post things on the internet and have indeed accounts on stuff, because I'm a real "tech dummy" - meaning I have not whatsoever any capability to work with technologies, and much rather be reading a book because it's a fucking physical object than to try and understand all these confusions of copy paste, urls, google + (a mega fuck you btw) and everything everyone knows how to do and start by laughing at me in disbelief and consequently ending by nodding their head in pity - that is me, yes.

So... what happened? well, I had the impression I was recording. instead I was taking a series of pictures. please go right ahead and facepalm yourself. I'll wait.
this is the result; I'm going to give you guys a play-by-play of it:

Corpsie: "hi guys, so I decided to do thius video bla, bla, bla..."
Boyfriend: just stands there not giving a flying fuck. so metal.

Corpsie: "so bla, bla, bla... wait. there's something weird going on."
Boyfriend: "hum?"

Corpsie: " do you think this is filming...?"
Boyfriend: "WTF?"

Boyfriend: " you butthole, that shit's taking pictures!"
Corpsie: " ho, that's what's weird about it."

                                                               SONOFABITCH !!!
so yeah... I'm a wonder I know.
we ended up by doing the video inside because by the time we knew about this it was too late to start recording, the fucking sun had gone out.

this is the damned video in question:

sorry for the quality of the video, but that was my first time recording in that laptop. : x

much more to come. ;3

Corpsie attacks! hurray!

Hi guys!
welcome to my blog. ;)
after much consideration, I thought that only good things could come from starting a blog to delve into matters I sometimes address on my youtube channel in a more in depth manner, and to actually have a place for lighthearted discussions, rants, funny business, and whatever more you can think of. you can expect posts from the most different topics, from oddities and fashion, to vlogs and work stuff, and even little much-to-do-about-nothing posts. because... we're here to share things and make friends, right?
this first post will be a tad on the low key, but just to start things on the right foot, here's a pic:

this is my very first appearance for a party flyer, and how funny that is since this is also my first entry. I think it came out pretty well. if you're in Lisbon or around that area be sure to check out this party. it's a bit exclusive but I actually took this picture in the bar where the party is going to happen and I must say... the place sure looks amazing.

I guess I could go on telling you guys about me, but I thought it would be much more fun if you get to know me in each passing entry.  ;)
this is my only real blog, and the other real accounts I possess are:
youtube account and modelmayhem account; which you can find the address here.
I also have a livejournal account and a facebook account, but I rarely let anyone in those due to being of a very personal nature.

So, this place will act as a bridge between the public Corpsie and the personal one.